The Chase

I had a recent conversation that shed some light on a post read here that I published back in November about men, women and "the chase." I will admit that while I wrote the post, I wasn't 100% sure what constituted "dead mice" or better yet how to avoid becoming one. At the time, I associated "dead mice" with women that had lost their pizzazz. That limited association changed this past Sunday after FaceTiming with the woman that inspired the original post.

She, oh married and enlightened one, brought three things to my attention: there cannot be two egos in one relationship, I apparently need to be a girl (not a guy) in a relationship, and it would behoove me to relinquish control. Yikes! That's a really tall order. She also confirmed that "dead mice" are women that nag, are insecure, jealous, spiteful, emasculating, controlling and overly needy. All the things that literally zap and suck out the energy and adrenaline needed to maintain a healthy "chase." These type of women (and I am guilty of being one of the aforementioned types) often times end up turning into dead mice or leaving because "dumbing" it down, for the purpose of attracting bees with honey (instead of vinegar), is not an option.

How does this relate to me? Well, I sometimes have a low threshold for anything that resembles, smells or feels like bullshit (I'm like a dog with a bone, which can be problematic if there is no bullshit to gnaw on) and as a result it keeps my guard raised and prepared to verbally fire back. This has protected my heart in most scenarios. But there are those rare cases where my ready-to-shoot-mentality has gotten in the way. I am becoming painfully aware that my approach, tone and delivery can use some sugaring. I am sure that my emasculating actions at one point or another made my then significant others feel like the chase (for them) was gone. Hmmm, it's almost worth going back and getting some answers from the men in my life. I smell a book of short stories. No bullshit! lol.

My take away is this - "the chase" is constant whether one is in or out of a love relationship. We chase who we want and desire and when we have them the chase to keep them must continue. No one is motivated to chase someone that brings negative energy into a relationship. It is more thrilling and beneficial to chase positive, challenging and constantly evolving potentials and mates.

EJW