The Three-to-Four Vie Rule

"Every single woman should have at least three to four men vying for her attention." Hands down the best "single ladies" advice I have heard in a long while! Many thanks to Debrena Jackson-Gandy (Award-Winning Speaker, Best-Selling Author, Transformational Mentor) for dropping that tasty little morsel of dating knowledge.

Enter stage right, "The Three-to-Four Vie Rule." Rule being - having a higher number of suitors increases your chances to make well-rounded decisions on what you want or don't want based on the variety of personalities as well as experiences encountered with each suitor. In other words, get your dating game up, single people! It's a great way to have fun, engage with the opposite sex and make well-informed decisions on the qualities that matter most and those you can live without.

Below are a few examples that highlight some of the benefits of having at least three-to-four suitors vying for your attention: 

Example 1 - one suitor may take you to sub-par eateries while another to five star restaurants. Both options (and the interactions in between) help shape your dining preferences among other important factors mentioned in my previous Show and Tell post.

Example 2 - having an inconsiderate suitor vs. one that calls ahead when he's going to cancel or be late definitely gives you an idea of what you can and cannot tolerate when it comes to your time.

Example 3 - you share an intense chemistry with one suitor but he can't discuss world issues and politics because, well, he just can't. This will give you an idea of what matters more: mind-blowing physical chemistry, mental stimulation or a healthy dose of both.

Example 4 - one suitor may be extremely turnt-up while the other prefers to stay at home. Can you adapt to either environment or do you prefer one over the other?

Example 5 - A mash up of all the above into one perfect man. Ha! Dare to dream

I remember the first time I was asked, by a potential tall, dark and handsome suitor, what I required. It was at the tail end of our second date and I was thrown for a loop. I think I said something about a man with a kind heart and good values. No shit Sherlock, those are prerequisites! *Sigh. I was young. In retrospect, that one question changed the way that I thought about my standards and requirements. It is mui importante to know what they are, what role they play and how they can help in eliminating the bullshit. Happy dating!

EJW